ATTRACTION
by fledge
Summary: Counterpart to "Revulsion", so you should read that first. Read and find out who it is about.


1 Attraction  
  
As the title suggests, this is the pendant to "Revulsion", so it's about one of two possible persons. Find out which one. I might joint the two pieces and make them the start of a longer story. Depends on the reviews I get.  
  
ATTRACTION  
  
Bored, bored, bored ... what a life! Nothing ever happens. How long have I been here now? ... hmm, let's see ...  
  
*  
  
Noreen. How well I remember her after all these years. A small girl, not exactly beautiful, but something about her eyes ... dark eyes, but shining ... clear and clever ... I used to lose myself in those eyes of hers ... dark ... dark was the first impression you had of her ... long black hair, midnight black, down to her waist ... her voice, melodious contralto, ... hazelnut skin ... and her eyes ...  
  
The wonderful time we had, running down the hillside, laughing, tumbling into the heather, kissing ... those kisses ... I can still taste them ...  
  
And always the secret trouble. She never said; down at the back of her mind, I could sense it. A feeling of guilt at being happy? How could you feel guilty of happiness? Perhaps it was my fault that I never asked her. I could have helped her, but I was afraid. What of? I don't know. I persuaded myself it was nothing, told myself that as long as she was with me, nothing else mattered, no problem, no secret could touch us. Yes, perhaps I was jealous, jealous without even knowing it. How could there be something on her mind that was more important than I was? And of course, when you are jealous, you are also afraid. Afraid that you are not so important as you think you are. Afraid of having to reconstruct the picture you have made of yourself. And afraid of admitting your own weakness to the one you love.  
  
Filch. There's never been a more suitable name. Petty stealing. Stealing my girl's attention, stealing her feelings without her even realising it. I never knew what he had been up to all these weeks and months. Had just seen him in the pub, disliked him from the start. Found his name funny when I heard it for the first time. Always called him "filth" to myself. Never took him seriously. It was pitiful how he tried to get accepted by the other students. Sucking up to the Famous Four. Not even Peter took him seriously. He used to tease him, making him do stupid things like deliberately walk the corridors in muddy boots just to annoy the caretaker. And Filch used to do it, just to be given a smile and the condescending pat on the shoulder. Yes, he allowed himself to be used. And Peter . he did use him, oh he did. Not just for harmless pranks. Loved to get others into trouble . almost got me expelled . he was no good, that Peter, strange the others didn't realize that in time . but then they were so wrapped up in their friendship I'm not sure they thought much about what was going on. And Peter, he was cunning enough not to show this nasty side of his . never came out whether that girl killed herself . I remember Remus shouting at him once ... and Filch, he was always there to do the dirty work . writing letters, spreading rumours . whispering "secrets" into willing ears .  
  
I should have known that people like him can be dangerous when they are about to lose something they believe they have a right to. That fateful day ... I can still see him standing there blocking our way ... I thought he was ridiculous, standing there in this threatening posture ... not even then did I realise how dangerous such creatures can be ... "You are mine" how absurd those words sounded when I was holding hands with her ... Yes, I underestimated him ... too sure of myself ... how often I have blamed myself during all these years ... How brave she was ... she realised the danger, wanted to protect me - oh the shame ... the blinding flash ...  
  
It took me some time to even realise what had happened. I refused to accept it for as long as I could. But nobody would know who I was. Nobody would understand me, nobody would even think of the possibility that things might not be what they looked. For a time, I tried to approach Filch, in the absurd hope he might somehow set everything right again. Why should he? He had got rid of me once and for all ... once, I heard Peter laugh .  
  
Desperate, I finally gave up my attempts and left Hogsmeade, the place of my pleasant memories. I couldn't bear the pain and humiliation any longer. I had no idea what had happened to Noreen, I just hoped that she was out of danger, persuaded myself in an absurd heroic mood that my sacrifice had helped her at least to be free.  
  
Finally I arrived here. I've lost count of the years that I have been spending in this place, waiting. I don't know what I'm waiting for; it's an indistinct feeling, a desperate hope for something to happen, for my dreary life to change; to change any way, just to change, to escape the unbearable boredom.  
  
*  
  
The bell. Another stupid kid looking for a toad or rat. They always come here in the days before a new Hogwarts term starts. What is it this time? Red-haired boy and a girl with a bushy mane. He's fumbling for something in his pocket .  
  
"Bang him on the counter," Madam Fauna says.  
  
It's a rat, a shabby-looking old rat that has seen better days . No, wait! This is not a rat at all! I can read his thoughts . Yes, it's him! Just let me get at you, you dirty .  
  
"NO!!! CROOKSHANKS!!! NO!!!"  
  
Well that's it. It was a bit difficult to think of a reason why should have it in for Peter when his opponent was Filch all the time, and I'm not sure I got it across in a plausible way. Tell me what you think. Can you imagine this developing into something longer, perhaps alongside PoA, for example? 


End file.
